So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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