I wish I could teleport
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
