If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
