in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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