Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
