I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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