For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
