1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
