my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
