If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
