Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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