Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
