Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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