i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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