I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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