No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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