dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
