Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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