the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize