Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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