that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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