My hair reeks of homosexuality.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
