He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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