i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
