I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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