There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize