I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
