they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
