it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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