I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
