I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
