My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
