no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she peed on how many people?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
