We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All I want is dick and wine.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
