Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
