No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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