Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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