fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
