Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
