If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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