Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
