ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
