If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
