Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
