have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We talked him into tasing himself.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
