Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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