The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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