But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize