he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
