it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
