so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I smell like Dick and happiness
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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