he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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