Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
