just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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