The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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