The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
there is glitter all over my balls
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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