So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
