she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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