What a fucking waste of an outfit
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
