my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
