apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
