I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
