Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize