Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
