I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
