when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
