White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
